Dear Men,
It’s not often we get a chance to talk like this. You know, in private and away from the loving (scrutinizing) gaze of our significant or casual others. So before we get to business, let’s just take a moment to appreciate the moment… for a moment.
Ahh, yes. That was nice.
First off, let’s level set. Valentine’s Day is on Sunday. Calm down. Not too calm, though. You need to remain conscious for this one. Hallmark may have invented this holiday but it sure as heck doesn’t control it. Who’s in charge of this holiday? We are! Who’s going to pull off a grand gesture so romantic that we’ll be surprised by our own emotions? We will! Go Team! 1-2-3 – BREAK!
Strategize And Organize
Time to assess the situation, get a lay of the land, stare our enemy straight in the eye and admire his cunning. Grunt if you agree.
The objective: Share a meal with someone we care about.
The enemy: Cupid. But also, the Valentine’s Day Industrial Complex: The soulless mechanism that churns out charming gestures as if love were a product and couples were factory workers.
The enemy’s stronghold? Restaurants. Never forget: The enemy is cunning. They lure us into their trap with promises of farm-to-table fare, a rustic Americana atmosphere and that seasonal burrata and squash salad that we’ve been waiting all year to try.
Snap out of it! The only thing you’ll find at a restaurant on Valentine’s Day is romantic treachery. Hour-long waits for those who forget reservations. Tables bordering bathrooms for those who remember reservations. Wait staff whose only mission is to make you look ridiculous. And the dessert menu – yes, that’s also a trap.
So how do we win Valentine’s Day? Avoid restaurants at all costs. Avoid restaurants at all costs. And avoid restaurants at all costs!
The Homecourt Romantic
Romance thrives in private. But we need a little more than four walls and a door to inspire the heartfelt conversations that guarantee a Valentine’s Day win.
To succeed, you don’t need a formal living room or even the knowledge of how to boil pasta. All you need, pure and simple, is a bit of thoughtful design style. So whether your Valentine’s Day challenge takes you to your kitchen breakfast nook or your living room floor, heed the advice below for a warming, charming and winning romantic meal.
1. Living Room Love
{Apartmenttherapy.com, Thekitchn.com}
Sitting on the floor is awesome. You are awesome. Following this logic, inviting your Valentine’s date to sit on the floor with you should = awesome. Not so fast. Consider these mood-setting and comfort-enabling essentials before taking your meal to the coffee table:
- Set The Atmosphere: Break out the placemats, matching dishes, flower vases, and unchipped wine glasses.
- Throw Some Pillows Down: You’re a man hardened by discipline and blind exertion, but some throw pillows and cushions on the ground can certainly make sitting on the floor a more luxurious experience for your date.
- Hide The Television: This is not Netflix and Chill night, this is game day (no, not sports, sorry) – so do your best to put the TV away for the night or at least orient your meal away from its mesmerizing glare.
2. Kitchen Table Twist
{Thekitchn.com}
Pop quiz: Is slamming down a burrito and shot of tequila at the kitchen table a romantic scenario? IMMEDIATE FAIL! Yes, kitchen dining is superb in the morning and whenever we need to eat and run, but you’d better check your design etiquette before hosting a dinner date in the kitchen. Here’s how:
- Light It Up: Hang string lighting over the table to create a charming vibe (and to hide that ugly stain from when you dropped your breakfast burrito).
- Add Color: A man’s kitchen table has the tendency to be barren and neglected. Combat your lifeless eating area with a vase or two of vibrant flowers.
- Incorporate The Kitchen: One of the best parts of eating in the kitchen is that the kitchen is, like, right there! Serve your appetizers on a cutting board and bring your enamel-coated pot right to the table.
3. Dining Room Duo
{Design-milk.com}
Whoa, you have a dining room and you’re still reading this? If that’s the case, then we’ll assume that your dining room currently houses two dog crates and a slip-n-slide rather than a formal dining area, cause if your dining room game is already on fleek, what are you doing here? For the dining amateurs:
- Give ‘Em Something To Look At: Because you’ll inevitably end up telling an embarrassingly boring story about that one time your buddy did that thing. Give your date something to distract themselves with while you recover from your one-way conversation. A handsomely-curated art wall is a great start.
- Dine In Stages: You know the saying: “don’t throw a roast chicken at your date the second they walk in.” Start the evening with a sparsely-set table. A bottle of wine and some snacks will set the evening’s tone and pace.
- Pare Down The Chair Town: One thing that doesn’t foster romance is the feeling of sitting at a table with an army of hungry ghosts. Leave only enough chairs at the table for you and your date – it’ll make your one-on-one time feel that much more private.
That’s it. You’ve driven the Valentine’s Day Industrial Complex into hiding… until next year. There’s more good news: President’s Day is on Monday and other than not going to work, there is literally nothing you need to do to mark the occasion.
Happy Dining!